Wordless Wednesday

These are pics from the butterfly garden during today's field trip to the Tennessee Aquarium.

"Not Me! Monday"

So, I forgot to post this yesterday. Story of my life! Thought I would go ahead and post it today anyway. Hope you enjoy!


Ok, so I am not totally psyched about there only being 2 WEEKS left of the school year. Nor am I ready to be OUT of the school building! This has not been one of the most stressful 10 months in my life, and I am simply not holding my breath for the last day of this school year to come. I am not excited about the possibility of working in Hamilton County next year as I am currently not available for any and ALL Pre-K through 4th grade positions in the teaching field. I did not just spend an hour applying for 28 positions in said county.

On a more serious note, I am not completely wondering where the heck my God is at this time. I am not constantly wondering how he could let this happen to me. I am not one of the most dedicated and innovative teachers I know in this day and age, and I do not wonder what the heck is gonna happen with my job situation. Today, I did not totally break down on my parapro and complain about the fact that I can trust NO ONE and that all my words do not keep getting twisted around to sound like HORRIBLE things that I truly AM NOT SAYING!!! I am not completely exhausted from all of this drama and I do not wish it would all just go away, or better yet - that I would wake up from this nightmare.

On a lighter note, I am not completely in love with the most supportive man I know. He does not completely sweep me off my feet and make me feel like all of this is dust in the wind. I am not completely grateful that God brought him into my life and I would not be completely lost without him.

I am not seriously counting down the days until my husband's next facebook party where I have REAL friends to hang out with and REAL friends to tell me how they will open up a can of "ahemmmm" on anyone who messes with me. I do not totally love these new friends I have made and I am not forever grateful for the support they have given both me and my husband through this trying time in our lives. Because let me just tell you one thing...TWO-FACED PEOPLE DO NOT COMPLETELY SUCK!!! Nope...Not at all!!

Fabulous Friday

Well, here it is. The day we wait and wait for all week. I'm pretty sure the days go by faster and faster the older I get (or maybe it's the more kids I have! lol) At any rate, today could have been just as bad as days gone by these last few weeks, but I chose for it to be different. I cannot change the things that have happened and I cannot make people see me the way I want them to. Everyone has there own opinions and in the end, they will stick to those regardless of what you do or say. I choose to be happy today. I choose to love life today. I choose to see the blessings God has given me - a wonderful and devoted husband, four beautiful little boys that rush the door every day I pull into the driveway, and an absolute angel for a daughter. How can I mope? How can I say, "Life's not fair!"? Do I not have food for the day? Do I not have a roof over my family's head? Do I not have clothes to wear tomorrow? Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere. Tonight I will turn my worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway.

Dreams...

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a famous singer. I'm talking - from the womb, folks. Yep, the whole red carpet, eat your heart out, cash flowing out of my ears, adrenaline pumping, crowd screaming, award-winning superstar! In high school, I even applied for the Academy of Dramatic Arts in New York. I thought I'd take a shot at Broadway.
Well, in another pocket of my brain was the dream of one day becoming a mother. When I was in Kindergarten, the teacher had us do an art project. At the top of the paper was written, "When I grow up, I want to be..." and we had to draw a picture. I drew a man and woman in a bed and a crib next to the bed with a baby in it. At the bottom was written, "...a mommy."
Well, if you know me at all, you know I am the mother of FIVE beautiful children. So that part was realized. But, I have always held on to the other dream. I've fantasized about it, dreamt about it, tried to visualize it. I've wondered what my life would have been like had I gone off to New York as planned. Would I have made it? Would I have succeeded? Would it have been everything I thought it would be?
This past Saturday, I was watching the season finale of Private Practice that I had taped Thursday night. I LOVE this show. In it, there is a character who is a fertility specialist and she had accidentally switched the embryos of two of her patients before implanting them. When she realized the mistake, it was obviously too late. She had both patients in her office talking about the situation and she said the most thought-provoking quote that I have ever heard. It was nothing big, but it spoke VOLUMES to my heart. "Sometimes we have to let go of one dream, so that we can fully pursue another one." Wow! So many times, I have taken my children for granted. Of course, I know my children are gifts, but I have been so ungrateful for the ability to get pregnant and to have a family. Shame on me. This family is the core of my being and I cannot imagine any amount of fame would come close in comparison with them. And even if I did become famous now, what kind of life would that be for them? You can't be everything they need when you're on a tour bus in the middle of nowhere making phone calls to say, "Mommy loves you and I'll be home at Christmas." How fair is that??? No, I have not been fair to my kids. This must change. I no longer have the desire to become famous. No longer have the urge to walk the red carpet and have adoring fans scream out my name. No longer have the need for public approval or admiration. I have what I need. Every afternoon, when I walk in the door, I have all the adoration I need. Running to greet me with hugs and kisses are the ones who matter most. The ones who don't care how well I sing. They just want to know that I am there - 100%. And I am. I love them more than anything in this world and I will show them every day that they are all I will ever need.Goodbye, Hollywood! Hello, Motherhood! I'm sorry it took me so long to get here...

Wordless Wednesday

My life...

Ok, it is 12:11AM and I am STILL up!!! Why is it that I can never get sleepy until after midnight??? I am sitting here listening to Tommy play the guitar and learn songs for us to go perform at the Mud Pie. Why is it some people get to do what they love and others have to settle for what will pay the bills? Why can't I just make loads of money singing? Don't get me wrong, I LIKE my job....but, I LOVE singing.

So, yesterday was "Not Me! Monday", and as you can see I did not get a post up. I have FAR too many children to try and blog these days. I can't seem to fit everything I want to do into my day. Maybe we could write the president and ask him to add an hour to the end of the day each day. Heck, he's considering other moronic suggestions, he just might take me up on mine. Whatcha think?
I can tell it is getting close to the end of the school year. My students are CRAZY acting. I even had one kid in my class tell another kid, "Ya know what, (name)? I think you have ADD. That's when you can't really focus and you have a hard time paying attention. That's what I have and I think you have it too!" The funny thing is, I have said this a BAJILLION times to my parapro about that same kid! Cracked me up!! Lately, I have been trying to keep my mind OFF of work. Our county is cutting the budget by a couple MILLION dollars, and I am the lowest on the totem poll at my school. SO, inevitably, I will get cut. Look for me behind the yellow submarine. That is probably the job I will have by the end of these cuts. :( I can't take it anymore. I am SOOOOO tired of worrying about whether I will have a job next school year or not. Who ever thought teaching jobs would be hard to find??? But that is the story of MY life. Maybe I'll learn how to play the guitar and go sing down by the bridge for pennies. Will you come and help a sista out? Maybe even throw me a quarter every once and a while. I'm seriously thinking this is what it is going to come to. Maybe I will develop one of those paypal buttons that says, "Feed the children, the FRANKLIN children." Oh well. One day at a time, right? We choose whether the be happy or sad, and fortunately, I am not a person that can stay unhappy. It's not in the DNA. Don't Worry, be happy. Right?